I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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