The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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