She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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