I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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