seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
