why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
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You. Win. At. Life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
