oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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