atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm having to shit out rocks
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
