We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He did a backflip because drugs
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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