I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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