I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
