Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
