Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
