Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
