I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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