He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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