Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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