I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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