Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
