Redeem this text for a blowjob
Everything about him screamed your future.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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