so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
