Define "chronic" masturbator.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
