Whod you bang
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
