i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
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Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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