I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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