i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
