I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
