Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
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I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize