I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
high people should be assigned attendants
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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