I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
