it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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