I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
