you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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