i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
