worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
