Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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