This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
