You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
