There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
