If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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