A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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