with your own penis?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
