last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
