Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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