omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
