You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I came so hard my ears popped.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
