Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
