I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize