It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
