Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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