i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
