o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
