after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
