yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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