I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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