these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
