i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
