Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
